It’s time ladies and gentlemen. A film by a man that we never thought would arrive is here. Blackbird starring the lord of the dance, Michael Flatley, with Eric Roberts and Ian Beattie, tells the story of an old soldier who is pulled out of his self-imposed exile.
Written, directed and starring Flatley Blackbird is a fascinating film to watch. Victor Blackley (Flatley) is a hotel manager living the life in a tropical paradise trying to forget his career as a special agent. He was one of the Chieftans some sort of European special forces. After a tragedy ten years prior cost him his beloved wife he now entertains tourists along with his team of ex-soldiers by his side.
Unfortunately, someone from his past returns and with her return arrives the most unwelcome of guests. His name is Blake (Eric Roberts) and he is part of a secret society created to weed out the supposed unwanted of the world by any means necessary. How does this dastardly figure plan to do this? With a formula that if altered slightly can go from a catch-all cure of all ailments to an instant kill bioweapon.
My sins are my own
Blackbird is without a doubt one of the worst films I’ve seen this year. To set the stage for this I must let you know that for the past two years I’ve been watching bad films with my friends. After watching so many bad films made by first-time directors/writers/actors I’ve learned there are certain tropes to watch out for. These are usually issues when dealing with older male directors. For example, women are brutalised within a film a lot, usually to spur on the male lead. Also, the director will ensure that young, attractive women are surrounding them. Finally, the male lead is like catnip to all female characters regardless of age.
Blackbird ticks all these boxes and more. In this film Flatley makes himself nigh on godlike. He can do no wrong. Even when there are events that are clearly his fault he is absolved of any wrongdoing. There’s even a priest waiting in the wings constantly willing to give him absolution for his crimes.
I’ll never get past this
On top of this unsubtle writing, the cast is giving performances that are simply childish. Flatley is amateurish and he surrounds himself with similarly talented performers. The only actor who seems to be trying for something memorable is Eric Roberts. He’s eccentric and wild. Unfortunately, no one can rise to the occasion to join him in the spotlight.
If I can say anything positive about Blackbird it is that it’s a good-looking film at times. The locations for the most part are gorgeous and the cinematography compliments the tropical locale Flatley has chosen.
Blackbird was always going to crash and burn. With poor dialogue given by ham-fisted actors, it is easily a contender for the worst film of the year. However, it’s a fascinating film that if you are there with friends and have had a few drinks you will have a lot of laughs.
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